Tuesday, August 13, 2013

Q. How come there’s no difference between “fat chance” and “slim chance?"

A.     It is what’s technically known as an idiot’s syncrisy of the language. Like, for example,
“slow up” and “slow down”—the same thing. Or “regardless” and “irregardless.” And “I couldn’t care less”—or, nowadays, “I could care less.” See? Still, to get back to the original query, and it certainly is queer, “slim” isn’t always equated with “fat,” as in the following joke:

First girlfriend: “Have you slept with him yet?”
Second girlfriend: “Fat chance!”

Well, who would, if the lover in question is some slobiferous pachyderm with a midriff like a Goodyear blimp and rapine in his bloodshot eye? But, come to think of it, I’ve never heard of some slender youth being turned down with “Slim chance!” either. Girls usually say, “Get lost!” and—I’m sorry, we can’t give advice to the lovelorn, this is a science feature.

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