Friday, April 25, 2014

Q. If food and survival are even more basic than sex, how come most songs are love songs?

A. There is a bonafide food song, “Jambalaya,” though naturally enough, it’s half in French. There are a lot of drinking songs, of course, in every language, but they’re not pertinent. In fact, they’re downright impertinent, to say the least. And that’s what I want to say, because I can’t really answer your question. And why, when you come right down to it, there should be a ballad to shrimp and not, say, to roast beef or pheasant under glass, I’ll never know.

Friday, April 18, 2014

Q. What are anklebiters?

A. They are little kids, very little kids, starting out early to be general nuisances--asking for things, getting into the cookies, leaving their toys all over the place, invading swimming pools a full five minutes before the adult lap hour is finished, things like that. They don’t actually bite, they just look and sound like hell-bent irritants only just so high from the ground. But bless their little so-called hearts, they deserve a name of their own, don’t they?